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If you tend to experience positive feelings vicariously through others, and like the idea of being part of a couple’s intimacy, you may be a good candidate to be a unicorn, Stewart says. ”The couple should also have a solid sexual and romantic foundation to avoid feelings of resentment about the situation, and they should be able to talk to each other without feeling like they are walking on eggshells.” It’s important to make sure you’re both on the same page and want this, rather than one person feeling pressured, she adds. If you’re part of a couple and are thinking of adding a third, whether for fleeting fun or as a long-term fixture in your relationship, Stewart recommends first having lots of conversations with your partner about how each of you envisions the relationship, what each of your boundaries are, and what situations could arise that you might find triggering. “But when you do find one, your whole world changes, and you don't quite see it again the same way after that.” Unicorns are called unicorns because they’re considered fairly rare in swinger communities, where the term originated, Stewart says. “There are many different types of possibilities, from casual one-night stands to friends with benefits to long-term nesting,” says sexologist Marla Renee Stewart, MA, co-author of The Ultimate Guide to Seduction and Foreplay and sexpert for Lovers. Those in the non-monogamous community, however, have a different (but equally magical) concept of what a unicorn is: It’s a person who is sexually and/or romantically involved with a couple.Ī unicorn may be someone who joins a couple for a threesome for one night, or it may be someone who regularly dates or even lives with both members of a couple.
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For many, the word “unicorn” conjures images of horse-like creatures with fancy rainbow manes and sparkly horns.